Open Letter to Kentucky

At the risk of sounding like a COMPLETE bitch, I’m sharing with you an open letter I’ve written to Kentucky, a state that is completely kick ass until it snows.

Just a little background for you: on Monday, February 16, 2015, it snowed in Kentucky. Accumulation totals were estimated between 9 and 16 inches across the state. People literally freaked the $@%* out.

I sure do hope everyone stocked up on milk and eggs…

Dear Kentucky,

Please stop referring to your most recent snowstorm snow fall as “Snowmageddon.” You’re embarrassing yourself. And me. Seriously, the people of Boston are laughing at you from the top of the “Alps of MIT.”

Photo Credit: Tom Gearty; Source: Boston Globe

And don’t even get me started on what they’re saying in Canada.

Out of my way, bitches!

Now don’t get me wrong, I realize that 10 inches of snow is a lot to handle. And I understand that you don’t have the equipment to deal with the onslaught of snow you’re receiving. And I’m down with any excuse for a good snow day week. But I think you’re throwing around the term “Snowmageddon” a little loosely.

Ponder these statistics:

-Since January 23, it has snowed a total of 90.5 inches in Boston, Massachusetts. 32 inches in one January storm, and 58.5 inches in SIX storms over the last three weeks of February. They’re setting records in Boston, and it has nothing to do with football.

-Moncton, New Brunswick has been slammed by FIVE blizzards in the past FOUR weeks and is dealing with more than 120 inches of snow. Snow banks are in excess of 9 feet, and roads are down to one lane in many areas of the city. On Sunday, every single highway in the province was CLOSED.

Chew on that for a minute, Kentucky. 

If you want to see a real Snowmageddon, check out these pics… 

A road used to be there. Somewhere under all. that. snow.

The sign says STOP, and the snow says NO WAY!!!

Even the plow guy was like, “Holy shit! I gotta get a picture of this!!!” And so he got out of his tractor and took a selfie.

Pretty soon, you won’t be able to see my TWO STORY house from the road! #snowmageddon

So my dear, Kentucky, I beg of you – stop talking about Snowmageddon. You wouldn’t know Snowmageddon if it slapped you in the face. Seriously, you look ridiculous.

Photo Credit: kentucky.com

All my love (forever and ever),
Lauren

PS – when the flowers are blooming in March and you’re looking all gorgeous dressed in Spring, you can make fun of me for living in Canada. Until then, I’ll just be up here rolling my eyes at your “State of Emergency.”

For more storm pics, check out the following:

CBC News: The National

Buzzfeed: Here’s What Happened in Canada Last Night

Rick Mercer: Winter Hammers East Coast

YouTube: Boston Blizzard 2015 #Snowlapse

Buzzfeed: How Insane the Snow is in New England

I’m Shipping Up to Boston

I’m a sucker for historic cities, and for Americans, Boston is about as historic as you can get. Lucky for me, we live just a day’s drive from The Cradle of Liberty, so I can get my historic fix pretty much whenever I want. Lucky for Corey, the New England Patriots call Boston home, so he can get his football fix while I’m fan girling Paul Revere.

Or Sam Adams… you know, whoever’s available. 

But I don’t reserve my swooning for historical figures. I had bigger fish to fry, and a certain boy bander to stalk see (again). Let me introduce you to Donnie Wahlberg:

*sigh* I was not about to pass up the opportunity to eat at the restaurant Donnie owns with his brothers, and Corey likes to indulge me, so we hit the road to Hingham for lunch at Wahlburgers with the hopes that A&E would be filming their hit reality TV show of the same name. My hopes, not Corey’s.

They weren’t filming, but the trip wasn’t a waste. The food was AH-MAY-ZING and crazy inexpensive. We stuffed ourselves with burgers and milkshakes and tater tots and onion rings, and I bought a tee shirt. Mission accomplished. Success.

We waddled out to the car, and just as I was getting in, I saw the unmistakable ball cap/collared shirt/sweater combo of Donnie’s brother, Paul through the window of Alma Nove, his restaurant across the street. What if Donnie’s in there?!? I panicked. I did NOT come all this way to miss this opportunity, but I was also not about to go into this beautiful upscale restaurant without buying anything. And I was STUFFED.

But there we were… having dessert at Alma Nove. Shoving the most delicious Bourbon Banana Pudding Cake into my mouth. Hoping the buttons on my jeans would last until we made our way back to the car. And nearly hyperventilating at being in the same room as one of the Wahlberg brothers. It was glorious.

Back in Boston, we rested up for our evening. We’d planned to go downtown to ice skate on the Frog Pond, but after lunch, neither one of us was confident in our ability to move, much less skate on ice.

And then it was time to head downtown for the event I’d been anticipating for months. Nay, YEARS. Garth Brooks. In concert. Talk about fan girling. From teleporting onto the stage to laying it down for “Ain’t Goin’ Down ‘Til the Sun Comes Up;” from “Two of a Kind” to “Shameless;” from “The Dance” to “The Thunder Rolls,” Garth Brooks delivered. I laughed, I cried, I cheered, I sang. All the hits, most of my favorites… “The Kitchen Sink” show, he called it. I could have jammed with him all night long. It was amazing. Simply amazing. Number 1 on my Top 10 concerts… can’t wait to see him again (some day).

And then our weekend was over. We hit the road in an effort to outrun Winter Storm Juno, but not before Corey had his Patriots fix with a visit to Boston’s City Hall for the Super Bowl Send Off Rally. It was FREEZING cold, but so. much. fun. I’ve officially moved over to the Dark Side, and I’m not ashamed to say, “I’m a Pats Fan.” What?!? This is what happens when you move to the Northeast… they brainwash you. And I’m okay with that.

Go Pats!!! DO YOUR JOB!